Yesterday was brutal – the waiting, the anxiety, the emotional roller coaster of feels – but I will save the dramatic build-up and just tell you all now: I MADE IT TO THE LEAGUE AND I WILL BE PLAYING WITH THE DC DEMONCATS AND I AM SO EXCITED AND OMG IS THIS REAL I AM SO… SO… HAPPY! *takes a deep breath*
Now that I got that out of my system, I’ll tell you all about yesterday.
I woke up, and the anxiety immediately set in. It was incredibly difficult to concentrate at work. I spent the majority of the day searching the web for other roller derby blogs that talked about dealing with draft day anxiety. Didn’t really find anything, so maybe someone in the future will find this post. If that’s why you’re reading this, here’s my advice: Breathe. Focus on the present. Take small breaks, but try to go through your day as you normally would, no matter how hard it is. Our draft was scheduled for 8pm – 12 midnight, but by 4pm, after irrationally dwelling on every aspect of everything, I was so nervous that I literally ran to the bar across the street. Not the healthiest of coping mechanisms, but hey… it got the nerves all ironed out.
My boyfriend met me at the bar and he tried his best to calm me down, even threatening to take my phone if I just sat there staring at it like a crazy person or obsessively checking it or my email or Facebook before 8 pm. (I was seriously not thinking straight… lol.) After a couple of drinks and a lot of conversation, I finally started to relax. I even told the bartender about the roller derby league and gave her a flyer that I was carrying around like some kind of lucky charm.
We were knee-deep into some kind of serious drunken convo when my phone started ringing. I stopped talking and stared at the phone for at least 3 or 4 seconds before he was like, “Answer it!” I think I was in suspended disbelief for a moment – the reality that I would know my roller derby fate in just a few seconds was scary as hell. The fresh meat were told that we would get one of 3 phone calls: a captain telling us we were drafted to their team; a Skater on Tap Wrangler telling us we weren’t drafted, but would still be allowed to practice with the league in the hopes of one day being drafted in the future; or the Fresh Meat Chair telling us we didn’t make the cut.
Here’s my memory of the conversation. Remember, I was drinking whiskey and this is just my recollection, not an actual transcript:
ME: *picks up phone with a shaky hand, a shot of whiskey in the other hand* Uhh… hello?!
UNKNOWN WOMAN: Hi Bebe! This is Pow from the DC Demoncats and I’d like to invite you –
POW, CO-CAPTAIN OF DEMONCATS: *laughs* invite you to join our team!
*I hear laughter in the background – I think there were other captains introducing themselves but I keep saying…*
ME: OMG. OMG! OMG. OMG. OMGOMG.
POW: Something something something. Congratulations!
ME: YES. YES, OMG, I would love to join the Demoncats! Omg, thank you omg. OMG. YES. *starts to cry*
POW: Something something something. We have practice all the time. We have practice this weekend. ALL THE PRACTICE. Congrats. We’re going to kill you.
ME: OK. OMG. THANK YOU – YES. *continues crying* OMG.
POW: We love your enthusiasm!
POW: Ok, bye weirdo. Welcome to the Demoncats!!
ME: OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH ERMAGHERD. *blows nose*
The rest of the night was a drunken blur of victory dancing, hugging my boyfriend, and a really wild trip to McDonald’s. Today’s hangover was completely worth it.
I am extremely ready to climb this huge mountain of roller derby with my new team, the DC Demoncats. I am ready to work hard. I am ready to push myself to new limits, to challenge myself in ways that I never thought I could. I am ready to live up to my potential, and show the Demoncats just why they drafted me. The metamorphosis that I was always talking about – it’s happening.
Introducing B.B. Aggressive, a DC Demoncat for the DC Rollergirls league. Meow, mother-effers – it’s time to play some derby!