And I’m really into roller derby. Always have been.

During my angsty pre-teen days, I thought it was bad-ass. During my plastic mean girl cheerleading days, I thought it was bitchy-cute. During my college years, I thought it was a great way to find parties & liquor & really cute lesbians. During law school, I was violently depressed enough to fantasize about tripping bitches and skating away.

Now that I am more well-adjusted and without as many psychological disorders, I know that derby is an amazing lifestyle – a way to stay in shape, meet amazing and talented women, take out some aggression and just have a lot of fucking fun. I went to my first bout shortly after moving to my new city, and I fell in love – for real this time. I guess I could’ve called it lust before, but this feeling was something different.

Started volunteering at the bouts, kept falling in love. I did face painting. The look on the little kids’ faces when they’re at the bouts, especially the girls, is really awesome. Made me wish I discovered derby as a little girl.

So anyway I knew it was time to put on some skates. I went to a rink after not skating since I was around 9 or 10 years old, thought it would be nothing. After 20 minutes, my knees and calves started burning like hell. Shin splints. I took off the rental skates, dejected, and went home, drank wine and watched the movie Whip It while crying uncontrollably. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but I was really fucking bummed.

I thought roller derby wasn’t for me until I started feeling like a little punk. I went to the derby shop that my city is so lucky to have (shout-out to Department of Skate in Chinatown DC), dropped big bucks on a whole roller derby set of equipment (skates, helmet, wristpads, elbow pads, knee pads, and mouthguard) and the rest is history.

I practice everywhere the floor is flat and clean. I constantly watch YouTube and Vimeo how-to videos. I fall over and over, sometimes on purpose for practice, sometimes because I’m just bustin’ my ass. I’ve learned toe stops, T-stops, knee-falls, sideways skating, backwards skating, and I’m working on cross-overs.

I’m officially RAW MEAT. To be continued…


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